Bless me Fatha

Growing up in a 1st generation Italian family my Mom insisted that all her kids go to Catholic school.
I was the youngest of four with a huge age gap between me and one of my sisters.
They went to Our Lady of Fatima in Fort Lee, NJ. By the time I got there they changed the name to Madonna School – like a virgin.
I hated it!
I hated the uniforms, the masses but mostly I was afraid of the nuns until I was like in 5th grade. 5th grade was my transformation from being scared to being a rebel.
I hung out with the Brennen twins, two Irish girls in 7th grade. Apparently Maureen Brennen had these cherry bombs she got from her brother, we gathered at lunch to hatch da plan.
We all raised our hands at 2pm and asked to be excused to the lavatory. Once we were all there we took kotex (the ones that had dem long pieces of like gauze on them) we picked up the toilet seats and tucked the kotex around the seat so it was like a board over the hole then we placed the cherry bombs on them, lite them and ran like thieves.
We were back in the class before the explosion.
We all heard this huge BOOM.....
Then the loud speaker in the classroom starting its announcement. Sisters and teachers please file a single line and proceed outside. Also anyone that was absent from class send to the principals office.

Oh Boy – There were 5 boys and 3 girls in the office. Being it was the girls room the boys got interrogated and then dismissed. Upon our interrogation with Sister Peter Conesious – yes you read it right. Sister Peter what-eva determined it was us. She then called our Moms. We were suspended for a week and when we returned we had to clean the convent after school. My Mom was pissed! However she blamed da Irish kids for most of it.

In 6th grade I got Sister Mary Hue she was six feet tall and pissed all the time..
I had to brainy kids in my class and I will never forget their names: Renee Levisuer and Carolann Stalopie. Real Nun kissers!
Every Monday Carolann would collect milk money and mission money. Oh I wanted to smack her.
This one day were we working on math, fractions. I hated factions! I was so confused and kept telling the Sister that I did not understand it. So what does what does Sister 6 foot do – she calls me to the blackboard to solve the problem along with Renee and Carolann. The clacking of the chalk was maddening from them two.
All of a sudden they both put the chalk down at the same time and sat down.
There I was creating the formula for hydrogen! I had so many symbols and signs, I was sweating, my barrettes were sliding off my head.
All of a sudden I hear, “where were you when the Lord was giving out brains”!
I turn and say, “right behind you Sista!”
That was not good.... She walked up and started bangin my head in the board. I thought it was sweat but my barrette was stuck in my head and it was blood.! Yikes.
There I was back in da principal’s office!!
There was Mom at the door. Ma was pissed. She said regardless of what happens you are not to hit my child.
That day I was able to go home early. 

So here was the crown and glory that finally got me outta there.
Ever since the beating of the head, Sista was pissed at me. I was not allowed to play in any reindeer games.
It was Christmas time, we had a live tree in the class, it was all decorated and had candles, real ones on the tree.
She announced she wanted a class picture but I was not allowed to be in it rather I was gonna take the photo.
So she gave me this brownie camera, the kind you had to look down into.
She then lights the candles and places the kids on the floor and she next to the tree.
I kept walking back saying, back up more Sister, as she was HUGE- 6 feet- memba?
For a split second my eyes saw the candle and her veil. I was like – Nahhhhhh.
Then I said back a little more Sista and WHAM! Her veil went up like cotton candy!!
She ran out the door and dunked her head in the water fountain.

There I was waiting for da principal.
She came in and said- you are a descendant of Satan.
Yikes that was nasty!
Then Mom showed up, she was really pissed at me. So here was the sentence.
Mrs. Maisano we would prefer if you take your daughter to public school ASAP.

OMG – Yessssss- finally ~~~ finamente......

Three Penny Operaaaaaa

Has anyone been to the MET lately? If so than God Bless. Because if you have, you either have more money than Palachi – know a guy – found a guy – or took a distribution from your 401k!

I happen to be one of those very eclectic peeps. The music I listen to varies from- Rock – Blues- Jazz – and Tango!! OMG, I loves me some Tango music…  I love fine art, abstract and yet I can kick back with the best of the blue-collar anywho’s…now that’s a friggin ART!

I despise pretension!!! I mean lets get real Folk’s, unless you were born in the Vanderbilt mansion, knock it off!!! Even Anderson Cooper has a sense of humor ~ well sort of???

Once in a while you have to take the stick out of your coulo! You might even enjoy hangin whit the little folk. Because basically you are just a Lolly Pop kid looking for height.

The world is tough enough, No? --- We are all connected by 6 degree’s of separation. Bet cha pissed off now!!!

And since the recession or depression set in it has made it worse! For me though, traveling around this country of ours – I think it’s worse in NYC.

Think of when your 401k was whole! You would drive thru Chelsea and pass all those foo foo clubs with the velvet ropes and see all those foo foo gurls on line with their little black dresses and their Gucci bags waiting to get in….

Well, ya still seem em, but now they are online with their little dresses, with their cuma-se-chama hangin out, their knock off bag and a sign that says, “ I will date for food and the Philharmonic!

However choosing your friends is way different than being born into your family!!!!

Hey, you remember that show called the Locator? 

This guy gets letters from people looking for their family’s that gave them up for adoption or friends that have lost friends..

I’m not talking about the lost boyz, that’s a whole other story..

I can see it now. I contact the guy from the Locator. Hi Troy, my name is Maryann Smith. I was adopted when I was 8 years old. All I know from my adopted family is that, they gave me up after I set a Nun’s veil on fire? But I have this desire to connect.

So Troy goes on DA hunt.

He meets me at the Bada Bing Club and says, “I found your family”!

OMG!!!!!!

Yes and I have a video of one of their Christmas dinners.

He plays the video, there are 7 fishes, zepolies, nuts, pastry, and my FAMILY.. They were reenacting the 3 penny opera.. Now rememba – this is an opera "by and for beggars!

So there’s my Brother singing Mack da knife!!! Then my sister starts cuttin hair!!!!! And my other Sister is dressed like a hussy from Berlin????????

IT WAS AMAZINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!

I looked at Troy and said – um – tell them you couldn’t find me!!!!!

But cha know what! Families are made up of the good, the bad and the ugly!  Whistle here!!!

My family has never seen an Opera, they don’t need to, they create their own drama. However, this does not make them bad people, or less than.

And those folks that feel that they would never want to mix with the likes of “those folks”! Most likely are covering up some type of dysfunction of their own, That’s why they hide in the orcastra pit!!

Look I have Champaign taste on a beggar’s budget! I loves me some Crème Brulee …However, I am proud to say that I still can crave a Devil Dog too~~~~

So here be da deal!!   Get off your high horse! ~  I always hated that statement!!! Lighten up !!!  See the good in people not what they are wearing. Love your neighbor – but don’t get caught!!!

And NEVER –EVER JUDGE ANY ONE.. ESPECIALY AN ITALIAN!!!

WE know all the judges any way~~~~~

UNKNOWN QUOTE

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

THE FAT LADY HAS SUNG!!!!!!