NEXT

What’s in a name? Names are extremely important especially if it’s regarding your business. It then becomes your Brand.

So why is it some comedy clubs name the place, Funny Bones or LOL’s and so on. I neva got that! I mean think about it, are you gonna call your friends laughing on the phone going, OMG lets go to Funny Bones, hahahahhahaa  OK?

What if all clubs named them for what they are?

Like “ One Night Stand” or “BANG” or STD’s. Would ya go?

Names can also create an inference in our minds about things. We find ourselves acting differently because we have set it up that way based on what ya head branded it as.

I remember back in my dating days I had this wooden box and I used a magic maker and wrote across the top of the box, “NEXT!”

Any time I was dating I would take the cards or letters or what eva they gave me and put it in this box called, next.

Every time I broke up with someone I then went to the garbage opened the NEXT box and emptied it.

When the next one came along all there shit went back into the Next box.

I suppose this was not a very optimistic approach to have because in my mind they were all NEXT!

I think sometime we are the wooden box! We lock all of our fears, baggage and insecurities in it and assume that it will protect us if we just remain closed.

One day after giving up on the notion of ever meaning anyone that could be “THE ONE”, I took the next box and tossed it in the garbage.

Then the work began~ my motto was ~ “If you continue to do the same things everyday expecting different results, Slap yourself now!”

If you think you are gonna change someone, forget it~ It aint happening.

So after I did all this self-discovery I was really kinda cool with it all.

I was content with just hangin out with me rather than settling.

Then for a birthday a friend of mine gave me a new box. This one was cardboard with Moons and Stars on it. No room to label it.

I month after I got that box, I found the Love of my Life.

So get rid of all the old garbage and open yourself and your heart and BOOM – no more Next. And neva go to a comedy club called LOL..

To Be or Not ~ Reality,, Mob What?

To Be or Not ~ Reality,, Mob What?

It seems We, Italian’s have been bombarded with the stereotypical nonsensical BULL SHIT that the so-called TV producers are coming up with.

Have you noticed lately that even movies in the theatre are remakes?

Play’s on Broadway are revivals or depicted from movies?

Where has all the creativity gone?

You mean to tell me that there are no talented people out there writing good scripts or dramas or comedies?

Oh please – there certainly are talented folks out there. It’s just that these Mook’s figured out a way to payless and keep the vig.

That’s what it’s all about - M O N E Y !!!

Look what happened with the Jersey Shore. They found a bunch of Idiots, made them pretend they were from Jersey and even Italian at that and said have at it. Even thought the show is a train wreak I was never that pissed about it. I figured these are kids acting like kids. Even Polish kids would act this way. Its called YOUTH. Remember that! Think about the shit you did as a kid! I remembered seeing movies and documentary’s where parents did not want their kids to listen to rock & roll. They just added the Italian shit so it would have an edge.

 I did however get pissed when they gave them a pay increase to $100.000.00 an episode. OMG! All that money – FOR WHAT?

Not one of them has an ounce of talent. And what did every Italian American group do? They continued to email them and hold summits to fight and demand that they stop production. All that fodder gave them more publicity. Pushed them right ova da edge. THANKS!

Then all the Housewives shows, NJ, NY, Orange County! Minga!

Here, I give u a challenge, do one from rural Kentucky, where peeps have no cars or designer clothes and do the laundry on a rock! You may wind up with a major hit.

So now that have really over stuffed da cannoli. There is a new show called Mob Wives. WOWOWOWOOWOWWOWOWOW

Did I watch the show? Yes !! And today I still can’t close my mouth.

I was shocked!

I never remembered the Mob wanting everyone to know where they lived or this or that. It was always kept quite.

These women are like Capo’s with breasts. Renee Graziano was like DeNiro in drag. She talked like she was the Boss. “We do what the family says”. “We don’t like Rats”. Yelling and screaming. Then Karen Gravano comes back home so she can write a book about her life. Who gives a SHIT ~ Oh Mother of GOD!

There are 2 other women whose husbands and Fathers are in da joint.

One likes to fight and is proud to kick the shit outta people while she is on the phone with her husband in jail taking a food order for him.

The other one told her kids Daddy is away at work, for 10 years ???

And they all live in Mansions !! Guess who is paying their bills now?

Forgive me but I don’t see the value added here! This indeed makes us look like Cavones. I understand this is the way you grew up and perhaps its all you know and it’s hard to change behavior but this is just going to get progressively worse, I feel it. I can see it now, all these young kids in school pretending to be Renee and makin small little Mob families. Hey, You bring her to my locker afta school, she pays up or I kick her ass !!! Instead of callin kids Rats they will now be called Karen’s.

I have a comedy & variety show called, THE ITALIAN CHICKS! We don’t bash Italian’s we celebrate our heritage. We make you feel like you are at a family reunion not a mob hit. We make you remember things that you paid your Shrink to make you forget.

As I am writing this I’m thinking, Hummmmmmmmm maybe not such a good idea to piss of the Mob Wives but, what’s next Mob Kids! Mob Babies.

I think the only Organized Crime left is Reality TV !!!

Now don’t get me wrong, I aint no Saint but as they said on the Mob Wives show ,‘IT’S ABOUT REPECT!” And I don’t see any of that!

So yea- I want a sit down with Da Mob Wives so I can tell them about respect!

And if the Albainian Wife wants at me- so be it.!

R  E  S  P  E  C  T    ~      FIND OUT WHAT IT MEANS TO ME !~

Yo,if none of ya here from me in like 2 days call someone, OK J

THE WONDER OF TWO

Life can be cruel, hard, painful, sad, lonely, happy, and fruitful or what cha make of it :)

I don’t know many people that are sans baggage or hurt and have pain. However I do know that if you live by the things that have damaged you, you will define your destiny.

A self-fulfilling prophecy of a down ward spiral. As for me, I have my moments, sometimes even dayz of being in the sludge and then I yell at myself! Out loud, like a crazy Italian Chick ~ knock if off Mare!!

I was always one to look for the silver lining. Just like the Italian Jiminy Cricket JHello my Baby, Hello my Honey, Hello my ragtime gal ~ remember that cartoon?  The Italian construction worker,Pasquale found a frog in the work site and the frog sang that song but when Pasquale took him to an agents office the frog did nothing but ribbit, ribbit – hummmmmmm?

Pasquale depended on the frog to make him money. Aye Pasquale, ma what’s a wrong wit chew. You lazy bastid.

It’s the power of one that draws the power of others to create magic. You need to believe in what you have inside of you and live it and act it and do it.

It’s not always easy and requires extreme self-motivation but “YOU CAN!”

Being a hopeful romantic, for me I believe in the wonder of two.

The person that fills your soul and captures your heart ~ where each time you see them it’s like the first time.

I know some of you are saying oh pleaseeeeeeeeee – Life happens and then ya let shit roll in and before ya now it the passion and magic are only found in a movie and not in your life any more.

Well here is a little secret I use! There are three people in your relationship!  Ok wise asses don’t go there - J 

Meaning its you, your person and the relationship. If you consider your relationship as a separate entity it will require you to pay attention to it and just not let it saunter about like a child lost at the mall.

Now don’t get me wrong, its important that you have your needs met, your persons needs met but you also have to meet the needs of your relationship. Ahhhhhh- so once in a while you have to let go of that selfish part of ME. If not you are truly not taking any responsibility and that is plain and simple a cop out.

When you really let go and let love, it’s then that you discover the wonder of two.

The one that you can count on. The one that makes any hurt feel less than because they are there. The one that make you laugh and the one you can lay your head on and feel all is well with the world.

So if you find yourself in a rut or not connecting have a conversation with your relationship, you’ll be surprised what you can learn.

The first thing you will find out is that you need to get dressed and go out for dinner with the intentions of talking about your dreams not your problems. Like magic you will feel an instant difference. Then take a stroll down memory lane to a time when you both met and relive it again.

OK I know some of you are saying- great Mare but I have not found that person and ya know what? I don’t think it even exists!

SNAP OUT OF IT ~~~

If ya keep thinking like that you never will – remember you draw in what you are. If you believe you are empty you always will be. It took me forever to find my dream and I fight for it all the time.

They say love comes from the most unexpected places and if you need to jump up and down on one leg and chant,” I do believe, I do!” then do it.

Start your quest for the Wonder of two rather then spending your entire live wondering who.

YA SAY YOU WANT A REVOLUTION?

 I have been in this daze watching the events in the mid East with folks tossing out the Dictators and wanting democracy! It’s watching history in the making. Also realizing that social media and you tube has given these peeps a room with a view to see what the rest of the world is doing.

 In those countries the DIC-tator had all da money. These peeps made like 2 bucks a week! The women are brutalized and I am sure it will take more than just a government turn over to rectify that one!

Yet still these peeps run ragged with rocks and stones and toss them at a friggin tank! We all know ya can’t take a tank out with a rock and yet they continue to follow their dream of democracy.

Here we sit in America with all these freedoms and democracy and some of us are making 2 bucks a week? It was noted in Forbes magazine that there are 400 people in America that have all da money!

FOUR HUNDRED! Then there are da rest of us Mooks ~ they do say however, “da Mooks shall inherit da Earth!”

That poor woman that represents that scale of Justice is gonna be hunchbacked soon!

Look I am not trying to start a debate on Democrats, Republicans or what eva party du jour is out there. All I am trying to say here is that we need to have a sit down with these 400 people and have them crack into their fortune.

Regardless of what party is in, it all turns into a bad CYO dance. Boys on this side Girls on the other. The votes get all skewed because if your not on my side, I aint voting! Like friggin kids in the playground. So guess what ~ nothing gets done. NADA – ZIP! 

Who pays for this BS, US !!

There are some folks out there that do not think we are in a depression/recession, they are calling it a correction? Why – because they are da ones with da money !!

Now look, if you are fortunate to have a job and have some savings and are feeling a bit squeezed – Brava, good for you.

However for those of us that are unemployed or self-employed or singles Mom’s and Dad’s trying to make ends meet this shit at pretty.

In this country we love our celebrities and athletes.

Our Athletes are making 30 million and it now costs you $200.00 to take your kid to a game? Do we really need to pay Tom Cruise 9 million to make a movie movie?

Look me of all people certainly do support the talented and artistic endeavors of peeps but MINGA – create a pay scale will ya!

Gas prices, food prices. Gurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

By now we should be looking for alternative measures for fuel and then hiring all the unemployed to make it happen.

So maybe we need to get our ASS’es in Times Square or any Square USA and say, Stop, BASTA, ENOUGH.

Stop payin our taxes, I mean really now what are they gona do lock up half the country!

These peeps in the mid East are dying for democracy. Well ya betta watch what you wish for because before ya know it they’re gonna be all broke ass like us. Then the 400 people that have all the money here will move there and become King!

You say you got a real solution

Well, you know

We'd all love to see the plan

You ask me for a contribution

Well, you know

We're doing what we can

But when you want money

for people with minds that hate

All I can tell is brother you have to wait 

C'mon people now

Smile on your brother

Ev'rybody get together

                         Try and love one another right now

DON’T MAKE ME GET DA SHINEBOX !!!

 Great, now Da FBI will have a dacia on me  :)

Three Penny Opera

Has anyone been to the MET lately? If so than God Bless. Because if you have you – you either have more money than Palachi – know a guy – found a guy – or took a distribution from your 401k!

I happen to be one of those very eclectic peeps. The music I listen to varies from- Rock – Blues- Jazz – and Tango!! OMG, I loves me some Tango music…  I love fine art, abstract and yet I can kick back with the best of the blue-collar anywho’s…now that’s a friggin ART!

I despise pretension!!! I mean lets get real Folk’s, unless you were born in the Vanderbilt mansion, knock it off!!! Even Anderson Cooper has a sense of humor ~ well sort of???

Once in a while you have to take the stick out of your coulo! You might even enjoy hangin whit the little folk. Because basically you are just a Lolly Pop kid looking for height.

The world is tough enough, No? --- We are all connected by 6 degree’s of separation. Bet cha pissed off now!!!

And since the recession or depression set in it has made it worse! For me though, traveling around this country of ours – I think it’s worse in NYC.

Think of when your 401k was whole! You would drive thru Chelsea and pass all those foo foo clubs with the velvet ropes and see all those foo foo gurls on line with their little black dresses and their Gucci bags waiting to get in….

Well, ya still seem em, but now they are online with their little dresses, with their cuma-se-chama hangin out, their knock off bag and a sign that says, “ I will date for food and the Philharmonic!

However choosing your friends is way different than being born into your family!!!!

Hey,you know that show called the Locator? On WE TV…

This guy gets letters from people looking for their family’s that gave them up for adoption or friends that have lost friends..

I’m not talking about the lost boyz, that’s a whole other story..

I can see it now. I contact the guy from the Locator. Hi Troy, my name is Maryann Smith. I was adopted when I was 8 years old. All I know from my adopted family is that, they gave me up after I set a Nun’s veil on fire? But I have this desire to connect.

So Troy goes on DA hunt.

He meets me at the Bada Bing Club and says, “I found your family”!

OMG!!!!!!

Yes and I have a video of one of their Christmas dinners.

He plays the video, there are 7 fishes, zepolies, nuts, pastry, and my FAMILY.. They were reenacting the 3 penny opera.. Now rememba – this is an opera "by and for beggars!

So there’s my Brother singing Mack da knife!!! Then my sister starts cuttin hair!!!!! And my other Sister is dressed like a hussy from Berlin????????

IT WAS AMAZINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!

I looked at Troy and said – um – tell them you couldn’t find me!!!!!

But cha know what! Families are made up of the good, the bad and the ugly!  Whistle here!!!

My family has never seen an Opera, they don’t need to, they create their own drama. However, this does not make them bad people, or less than.

And those folks that feel that they would never want to mix with the likes of “those folks”! Most likely are covering up some type of dysfunction of their own, That’s why they hid in the orcastra pit!!

Look I have Champaign taste on a beggar’s budget! I loves me some Crème Brulee …However, I am proud to say that I still can crave a Devil Dog too~~~~

So here be da deal!!   Get off your high horse! ~  I always hated that statement!!! Lighten up !!!  See the good in people not what they are wearing. Love your neighbor – but don’t get caught!!!

And NEVER –EVER JUDGE ANY ONE.. ESPECIALY AN ITALIAN!!!

WE know all the judges any way~~~~~

UNKNOWN QUOTE

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

THE FAT LADY HAS SUNG!!!!!!

LENT WITH THE OPTION TO BUY

Its that time of the year again when we are faced with one of the most tempting decisions.

TO PEEP OR NOT TO PEEP !! 

Ya know, those marshmallow things shaped into the form of a chick, with sugar all over it!

Its Easter time !!!  Quick find your bonnet ~ get ready for Da Easter parade.. Get your HOLY Chocolate now!  CHOCOLATE EGGS, BUNNIES, CROSSES – OMG !!!!

AND LETS NOT FORGET ALL OF THEOSE EASTER MOIVES –

The Robe – the Ten Commandments – King of Kings and Easter Parade!!!

This is the Christian celebration of the Resurrection of Christ .. Where did the friggin chocolate and Peter cotton tail come in?

And Lent !!!

Give up something you love for the 40-day period, symbolizing the Lenten season's return to simplicity and purity. It doesn't matter what you give up - cigarettes, chocolate, surfing the Internet - as long as the meaning of its absence holds significant value to you.

I was raised Roman Catholic but pulled away from many of the traditions of the religion. For me the Church is one of the biggest Corporations around. I believe that the word of God has been manipulated through the times to support  MAN MADE rules.

We even have our own city !!!! VATICAN CITY !!  Did u eva!

Why do you think spirituality has become so popular?

Everyone you meet today calls themselves spiritual!

I mean even if you go on dating websites under religion one of the categories is spirituality.

Since when did spiritual become a religion? I thought spiritual was something you were when no other religion would have you!!!

And has the Universe  replaced God?

I have a friend that says to me, Mare – don’t get pissed, give it up to the universe?

Give it love and defuse it! Karma will take care of it!!

Ahhhh here comes the Dalai Lama tail, hoppin down the wellness trail!!          WHAT !!!!

It’s hard to be spiritual when you are Italian !

I can see it now. 

Ding dong – who’s there?

KARMA!

Karma who?

Look open da friggin door before I smack ya!!!!

But here we are Lost in DA Bunnies. Lookin for Lent in all the wrong places.

Maybe it’s not even something tangible that you should give up?

Maybe you should give up bad behavior?

Or stop being a Nasty Ass!

Or maybe, just maybe try to be more tolerant!

 But inevitably you will find yourself in CVS or the grocery store on line starring at PEEPS and thinking – Hummmmmmmmm.

Maybe I’ll only buy one package?

Ok so the power of the PEEPS has taken you over – you BUY the friggin PEEPS!

Only to get them home and poke a few holes in the package and have to wait till the next day to eat them so they are nice and stale.

Now that’s LENT !!!!  WAITING FOR THE PEEPS TO GET HARD?

Which resembles sex – hummmmmmmm….

So all you Peeps out there that are so perplexed as to what to give up or if  you’re feeling like you are not being a good Catholic just sit back and ponder a bit.

If you need/want to follow the traditions of the religion then fine!!!

If you struggle with some of those MAN MADE interpretations, then just do the right things, love your neighbor ( as long as they are not married ) follow right action and if you really want to – just buy the damn PEEPS!

Food for Thought ~!

I had been talking to some friends that seemed to have many of the same issues in common.
The infamous – why is it so hard to meet someone who is? Here is the list:
• REAL
• NO BAGGAGE
• NOT A BULL SHITTER
• WHO CAN COMMIT
• And last: WHO LOOKS LIKE THEIR PHOTO

This was the litany of questions that were posed to me at dinner the other evening with my peeps.
When we walked into the restaurant (sans reservations) the Maitre’D for some reason decided to give us this private room. Hummmmm, did he sense something I was unaware of?
The food was ordered and the drinks arrived. The discussion got heated. 
I felt bad for the poor waiter because when he came in with the second round – he heard in a loud bellow: ALL MEN SUCK!
I looked up and said to him, sorry it’s GURLS night out no offence this has nothing to do with you. Then I realized he was Gay so I felt better.. Or perhaps he was thinking the same thing! ☺
The food & drink was abundant as was the frustration I was hearing.
Not that I am a Guru on relationships nor that mine is perfecto. But for some reason they thought I had some profound verbiage of the mystery of it all.
After listening to all the complaints and saga’s they then leaned to me and stopped talking!
Now I felt the pressure……………….. 
Hummmmmm, think of something Mare? Say something profound!

Out it flew like the pledge of allegiance. As if painted from memory!
I think this is a shared issue, a 50-50 split of responsibility.
WHAT?
OK, not saying your points are not valid but maybe you need to adjust your criteria of what you are looking for. It seems like they are all the same types? If you are gona go after that gym rat type you have to know that he loves himself more than he can you! His protein shakes have more meaning to him than your phone call.
Also when you are 40 how can you expect people not to have baggage?
However, it’s what they do with that baggage, no? Have they gone to counseling to try to understand their issues and patterns and have any of you done that as well?
I think if you are looking for a guy that is 40 years old and has not been married & divorced and has no children, well????
First check your own selfish meter!
Everyone has a past and if the guy is taking care of his kids that shows that he has character and is responsible! Not a bad quality!

Now the food & drinks are in full swing. I was getting so nervous with all the mayhem, I was eatin like Trailer Park Barbie at a Vegas buffet.

Now back to the waiter – I could see that he would try to judge the lull of the conversation prior to comin in!!!

I did feel bad for one of the gurls as she just got engaged. So she was adamantly saying, look I have been thought my frogs and the cheaters and the drama but I am soooo happy now. It took a long time to find what I have.
Brava gurl – stand up for the good of love & romance.

And the War story’s continued.

So I said look, I once had a date with a midget!
WHAT ?????
YUP!
WHY? ARE YOU INTO THAT?
WHAT? NO !!!!!

I was online and saw this photo – WOWOWOOWOWOW.. Now you all know I am a tad dyslexic so I thought it said 5’4 but it was 4’5. Even though 5’4 was short I thought I could wear flats… ☺
Now I didn’t even know this until I set the meeting up. I was at a bar in Long Beach and I told him that a friend of mine just had a break up so I would not be able to really hang, just say a quick hello.. I just love my instincts….
I was at the jukebox and was pickin some tunes when all of a sudden I hear this high-pitched HI?
The first thing I thought was, Man I must have shitty speakers I never heard that in this song before?
Then I heard it again!
I turned to the left and looked down and there was da munchkin. OMG !
I shook his little hand and saw my friend at the bar laughing uncontrollably.
I then said look, my friend is crying again. Give me a call, gotta go.

Or what about the guy that had 2 cell phones, one for his primary gurl and the other for his Gumada’s.

Or the one’s that are really good at fallin in love for like 2 months!!!

Or the ones that are bi-polar and manic! At least you feel like you are dating several people at one time! Ahhhhh, the male version of Cybil. 
It has its pluses, you can say Louie I don’t want to talk to you bring back the nice one….

Or the Facebook stalker who follows your recent activity like a friggin GPS, then after a week calls you on it. !!

Or the we broke up again and went back last week! AGAIN.

STOP THE INSANITY!!! OK OK !!!!!!!!!!

So your not happy in the land of single mingles! You bought the ticket to the Emotional Roller Coaster of Love, but now you are not even sure if you’re tall enough to be on the ride!
It’s Saturday night, date night USA and you don’t want your friends to think u don’t have a date so Mista Loser calls and you say, YES!!

Or the worse, I went back with my EX – UGHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Look when someone shows you their true colors the first time, believe them!! Because it is what it is!!!

Please let go of the, “I KNOW I CAN CHANGE THEM – BECUASE YOU CANT!”.

There are some really wonderful people out there that you will never give a chance to because they DON’T FIT YOUR PRECONCEIVED NOTION OF WHAT YOU HAVE IMAGANED YOU NEED!

To prove my point, I went into a deli today to order a sandwich. The counter gurl took my order and proceeded to continue her conversation with the counter boy. She said, why are all these loser guys attracted to me? I mean I attract them like a magnet, why?

OMG! It’s everywhere I go.
Look, the law of attraction! YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT!
You are attracting them!!! Hello …….
I am not telling you to go out with someone that is unattractive to you. However, there are so many really nice dudes out their that are just not Gangsta’s so why not take a chance. What are you afraid of? Maybe you will actually fall in love wit someone that adores you rather than you always being in this state of Drama.

I think it’s time we –STOP NOW , WHATS THAT SOUND EVERYBODY LOOK WHAT GOING ROUND!

CHANGE YOU – NOT THEM !!! I have always said if you find yourself doing the same things everyday looking for different results, SLAP YOURSELF NOW !!!

All this is easier said then done. It’s all so simple on paper. The rules of engagement are much more challenging.
Don’t settle for Mista wrong or Mista in the meantime. The same goes for you Guy’s as well.

As for Me, I’m Jiminy Cricket, always looking for the silver lining…


The one thing I am certain of is it that the term,
”FOOD FOR THOUGHT!” MUST HAVE BEEN CREATED BY AN ITALIAN !!!!
Who else would use the word FOOD and THOUHGT in the same sentence..!!