THE GHOST OF CHRISTMAS GAS!

So, Holidays are over!

Bur fear not, in like 340 days we will be back in da swing…

It’s sad in a way because I do love this time of year. It just seems that everyone is warm, loving, giving and heartfelt. So now, back to reality!! Unless of course you are in a relationship, which means you have to be on good behavior until Valentines Day…

So I am sitting here looking at my tree all wrapped up in its, Condom – I mean tree bag getting ready to be tossed in the field of dreams, GARBAGE.

All the ornaments and special effects have been placed in their boxes until next year. Except for one… Did ya ever notice that there is always one thing that is left out? You usually notice it the next morning in the light of day…No effort is made to remove the boxes and place it where it belongs, you just toss it on top and hope you don’t see it…

But all and all this was a great Holiday…

Christmas eve at Mom’s went off without a hitch. No drama and no fights. Until I tasted the stuffed mushrooms and I knew Mom did not make um but my Brother did.. Ewwwwwwwwwwwww.. He thinks he’s Emeril..

The bad thing about this time of year is the inevitable OVER EATING…. Mother of GOD!!!

Today is my first day of fast until like March….

For me once I get started there is no stopping. It’s like a junkie with a sugar fix..

Then all the rich foods that your stomach is not used to and then you find your tummy doing the tarantella.

Which brings me to one of my sister’s. Since we were kids she always had this knack of getting out of doing the dishes! Why? Well her excuse was she was always constipated? It was then like a Christmas miracle that after the meal, when we were all ready to clean up, she would bellow – OMG, I have to go!

Ahhh, The Holy Bowel Movement…

As soon as the kitchen was clean she would appear and say, Nah – false alarm..

Yea right! I got so hip to her shit… Pun intended….

But this year she had incentive!

Her new boyfriend….

I never saw her move so fast?

We were still all lingering at the table and it took quite a while until we realized she was missing? And then we heard the water running and the pots & pans jumpin like hot sauce on calamari.

We all looked in amazement but said not a word!  We didn’t want to break her concentration!!

Until my niece walked into the kitchen and said - O   M   G !!!

What we all shouted?

Don’t go in there!

Why?

Trust me, just don’t!

Now you never tell an Italian, “don’t look in this closet!” So we all marched in and collectively yelled.. O  M  G  !!!!

There she was all busy and moving, because why? Let’s not for get the incentive? THE CHRISTMAS BANG, that awaited her.

So there was my busy sister, still constipated but wading in FLATULENCE!!! YES YOU HEARD ME!!   I think she even managed to formulate the notes Silent Night threw her Ass.

Then the Sound of Music and no, we are not the Van Trapp Family, just musically talented in many ways.

Ahhh Da Family !!!!

So I have two Sister’s and to protect her new relationship I will not divulge which sister is was, however you can guess if ya want.

So, if ya want someone to move – get them to over eat foods rich in fat, oil and sugar and you too will hear the Ghost of Christmas Gas!!

MERRY EVERYTHING !!!!

'Tis the season to be Jolly!  Well, here we are again, that time of the year when Christmas spirit fills the air and takes control of our emotions.

It's a new day! This year was filled with so many wonderful, odd and strange happenings. 2011 has given us Earthquakes, Hurricanes, October snowstorms and Occupy Wall Street. We had things in our lives that gave us joy and losses that made us sad.  The stock market is oscillating like a bad ceiling fan and Freddie Mack and Fannie May finally got divorced, but unfortunately their offspring is still hitting our housing market.  Good people are losing their homes, jobs are scarce and times are truly hard.  And now I have to deal with the Holidays?  Yes, it’s called Life and you deal with it and learn and cry and laugh and love. These are the times that make your spirit move, even if you get pissed about it, at least it’s still some kind of action!! Further more I am so over this political correctness shit. Look in my world we called it CHRISTMAS !! I am not doing the Happy Holiday thing ~ I love all people and respect what ever it is that moves ya but don’t mess with my CHRISTMAS TREE!!!

If you eliminate the stress of your own economic blues like, no money, shopping, extra bills, office holiday protocol and just dream of those sugarplums dancing in your head you can really feel it.  It's all about you're attitude and being open to let the power of being positive surround you.

Things seem more tolerable at this time of the year.  You get to see family and friends.  You even break down and buy something for that one person at the office that is truly annoying, unless she/he has been laid off.  Hummmmmmmm.

So back to the spirit of it all.  Yes, the spirit can be very powerful!  The spirit and inspiration of the season can truly lift you.  Just look into children's eyes when they see a Christmas tree or Santa for the second time.  Think of the sound of the Salvation Army bells.  At times they might appear to sound annoying but to me they sound like the bells of Notre Dame.  Those bells break my heart for those less fortunate and yet they make me feel like I'm blessed.  Think of waking up with your Lover, your Partner, and your Friend!  Which by the way all should be the same person.  Just in case some of you had more than just sugarplums dancing in your head.

Think of the magic associated with the Holiday.  Even though the Holiday season has been commercialized to support the growth of our economy there is still magic and spirit left.

You gotta believe!  OK, granted I stopped believing in Santa at least 5 years ago.  But I still do believe in the goodness of people and the love of friends and family. That good intentions bring good things. That karma can bite you in the ass!   Believing that the Love of your Life is out there!  Oh and yes, finding that Love, and the magic that happens when you look at each other.

I believe that it all matters and that it all counts.  I believe that George Bailey might have been given an angel but it was his spirit that blossomed and gave him the momentum to realize that Life matters.  And that the people we touch at times can be truly touched, just by the mere jester of a random act of kindness.

I believe that risk can be a walk in the park if you feel supported and loved and inspired and all you need to do is imagine your dreams happening and they will!  But you must continue to have that imagery everyday as to manifest it. If you believe, you’re dreams will happen.

I'm sure there will be some Scrooges in your life who will say, “ Oh please!"  And what if this doesn't happen?  Or that?  Then what!!  And what about retirement?  You need to stop being Peter Pan and grow up!  Thank goodness for those Scrooges!!!

 Because one thing is for sure, you know what you never what to grow up to be, a Scrooge!

The world does indeed need balance.  We need those left of center type artistic folks that think and live the Bohemian way and continue to dream and create. We need the Scrooge type centered folks so that when we artist types finally make some money we know who to give it to for investments.

The unfortunate thing about Christmas Spirit is that it's seasonal and that's what sad.  If we could just hold on to the feeling of magic and save some snowflakes for the rest of the year we might still feel joy all year long.  Do we really need a tree and lights and Dasher and Dancer to feel that!  Hey Snow Happens!  And hence, the Spirit starts to dwindle and before you know it, it's just another manic Monday.

So find a way to surround yourself with positive people and good friends.  Throw your arms around the person you love and thank the heavens that you have found them.  Oh yes, and by the way, let them know it every day!

 At times even your dysfunctional family can be soothing.  Hummmmmm, did I say that?  Well, maybe not soothing, perhaps just a tad amount of comfort when you look at them and thank God that you turned out differently!  However I still look forward to the traditions!  Like bobbing for anti-depressants- taking bets on who will leave early on Christmas Eve and who will show up late!  And my favorite- the eating of the Cannoli wreath.

Remember, you can make money but you cannot make time!  So make sure you think about how your time is spent and not your how you spend your money!  Remember how nice it is to lean over and say “good night my Love”!  Think about how good it feels to be happy!  And if you have found your soul mate, thank God everyday and if you have not, remember that they will be arriving shortly.

And for those who are miserable or self absorbed or stuck in the patterns of life that denote poor form. Feel bad for them but don't invite them over.  Keep them at bay and do not feed the drama.  A friend once told me, “LIVE LARGE MY FRIEND” because no one on their deathbed ever wished they had more money, just more time.

Keep that Spirit alive.  Find your happy thought.

As a matter of fact for those of you who are reading this.  I can close my eyes and think of at least one thing that you have either said or done that has make me smile.

George Baily said,”everytime a you hear a bell ring an Angel gets

Calamari- or something like that….

So with that said Happy Holidays!  Let it Snow!  May your days be Merry and Bright!  Have your self a Merry Little Christmas and keep the Yuletide Gay! (whoop whoop) May the Spirit of Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, (did I get them all?) be in your day, today and for all of your days.

Merry Everything