Three Penny Opera

Has anyone been to the MET lately? If so than God Bless. Because if you have, you either have more money than Palachi – know a guy – found a guy – or took a distribution from your 401k!

I happen to be one of those very eclectic peeps. The music I listen to varies from- Rock – Blues- Jazz – and Tango!! OMG, I loves me some Tango music…  I love fine art, abstract and yet I can kick back with the best of the blue-collar anywho’s…now that’s a friggin ART!

I despise pretension!!! I mean lets get real Folk’s, unless you were born in the Vanderbilt mansion, knock it off!!! Even Anderson Cooper has a sense of humor ~ well sort of???

Once in a while you have to take the stick out of your coulo! You might even enjoy hangin whit the little folk. Because basically you are just a Lolly Pop kid looking for height.

The world is tough enough, No? --- We are all connected by 6 degree’s of separation. Bet cha pissed off now!!!

And since the recession or depression set in it has made it worse! For me though, traveling around this country of ours – I think it’s worse in NYC.

Think of when your 401k was whole! You would drive thru Chelsea and pass all those foo foo clubs with the velvet ropes and see all those foo foo gurls on line with their little black dresses and their Gucci bags waiting to get in….

Well, ya still seem em, but now they are online with their little dresses, with their cuma-se-chama hangin out, their knock off bag and a sign that says, “ I will date for food and the Philharmonic!

However choosing your friends is way different than being born into your family!!!!

Hey, you remember that show called the Locator?

This guy gets letters from people looking for their family’s that gave them up for adoption or friends that have lost friends..

I’m not talking about the lost boyz, that’s a whole other story..

I can see it now. I contact the guy from the Locator. Hi Troy, my name is Maryann Smith. I was adopted when I was 8 years old. All I know from my adopted family is that, they gave me up after I set a Nun’s veil on fire? But I have this desire to connect.

So Troy goes on DA hunt.

He meets me at the Bada Bing Club and says, “I found your family”!

OMG!!!!!!

Yes and I have a video of one of their Christmas dinners.

He plays the video, there are 7 fishes, zepolies, nuts, pastry, and my FAMILY.. They were reenacting the 3 penny opera.. Now rememba – this is an opera "by and for beggars!

So there’s my Brother singing Mack da knife!!! Then my sister starts cuttin hair!!!!! And my other Sister is dressed like a hussy from Berlin????????

IT WAS AMAZINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!

I looked at Troy and said – um – tell them you couldn’t find me!!!!!

But cha know what! Families are made up of the good, the bad and the ugly!  Whistle here!!!

My family has never seen an Opera, they don’t need to, they create their own drama. However, this does not make them bad people, or less than.

And those folks that feel that they would never want to mix with the likes of “those folks”! Most likely are covering up some type of dysfunction of their own, That’s why they hide in the orcastra pit!!

Look I have Champaign taste on a beggar’s budget! I loves me some Crème Brulee …However, I am proud to say that I still can crave a Devil Dog too~~~~

So here be da deal!!   Get off your high horse! ~  I always hated that statement!!! Lighten up !!!  See the good in people not what they are wearing. Love your neighbor – but don’t get caught!!!

And NEVER –EVER JUDGE ANY ONE.. ESPECIALY AN ITALIAN!!!

WE know all the judges any way~~~~~

UNKNOWN QUOTE

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

THE FAT LADY HAS SUNG!!!!!!

Lions & Tigers & Bears ohhh Minga

Ahhhh , our YOUT !!! Memba all those crazy things ya did? The kinda crap that if someone called ya today and said hey, lets? - You’d say – What!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

Either you would be to tired?

Worried about da cash?

Too stressed?

Or worse – you lost your cannoli’s….

It was like 10 years ago! You can play that weird – odd creepy remembering music now!!!

I called a friend of mine and we were meeting in the City to go on Da Prowl.. My friend has this magical name – Glinda as in da Good Witch!! So hittin the clubs with her was always a friggin joy as everyone that met her said – ohhh – like the Good Witch..Duh -- However, she was more like the Good Bitch.!!! And I mean that in a good way!!!

So we had our usual phone chat about where to meet and what to wear. We were both filled with that hope & wanderlust of what the evening could have in store.

That is, until we got there?????????????? Oh Mother of God!!!!

It looked like the bar scene from Star Wars!! All these mutant peeps..

Bad cologne – bad hair- bad teeth and that’s the worse!!!! ewwwwwwww…

Our hopes had faded! OK, then we went to the next joint !!!!

NOoooooooooo!!! Worse!!!!!! This was the land of the misfit toys!!!! All I kept sayin was, don’t pay attention to the little man behind the curtain…. We did not even give eye contact!!! … When you’re in places like that you have to treat them like crazy peeps on the street – NO EYE CONTACT!! Pretend your Burt in SOAP – snap you fingers and disappear..!!!!

The only thing we were doing that was successful was getting DRUNK!!!! Big timeeeeeeeeeeee…

So after many a drink had to fall we decided to leave. Defeated – Wounded.

We ended up at our favorite diner type joint and did what every body does.. EAT…

After we felt like the drinks had withered we decided to hit the road…

I went to the register and asked for coffee to go, while I was waiting I noticed they had Gummy Bears!!! HUMMMMMMMM. SO BEING A HUGE IMPLUSE BUYER – I get me the coffee and a bag of Gummy Bears.

It was a beautiful evening, I had all the windows down and the moon roof opened, along with the radio blastin…I was zoomin down the West Side Highway like Mario Andretti.

The HOT coffee is in the cup holder and the bottle of water is on the floor of the passenger seat.

So there I am driving like I stole it – popin Gummy Bears and then I got Ballsie – I took handfuls of Gummy Bears and was shoving them in my mouth..

All of a sudden I realize the bears are stuck in my throat??????

OMGGGGGGGGGGGGG…

I start to cough.. Nothin….

Then I am chocking and making that terrible sound that goes along with it….

I look at the coffee – Its toooo HOTTTTTTTTTTT…

The water is on the floor and I am flyin down the west side highway- tryin to lean down, while choking trying to get it…

Sweat is drippin from my head – My life is flashin before my eyes…

I can read the headlines now.. Woman dies on the West side with Gummy Bears lodged in her throat!! OMGGGGGGGGGGGGG

The all of a sudden I give it this huge bellowing cough and out fly the BEARS…

They landed on my windshield – splattered in the format of spread eagle…

And finally a sigh of relief!!!!

If I thought the Peeps in the Club looked bad, the sight of DA Bears on my windshield was worse.

My friend vowed never to drink again! And I vowed never to eat Gummy Bears while drivin!!!