Lions & Tigers & Bears ohhh Minga

Ahhhh , our YOUT !!! Memba all those crazy things ya did? The kinda crap that if someone called ya today and said hey, lets? - You’d say – What!!!!!!!!!!!!!.
Either you would be to tired?
Worried about da cash?
Too stressed?
Or worse – you lost your cannoli’s….

It was like 10 years ago! You can play that weird – odd creepy remembering music now!!!

I called a friend of mine and we were meeting in the City to go on Da Prowl.. My friend has this magical name – Glinda as in da Good Witch!! So hittin the clubs with her was always a friggin joy as everyone that met her said – ohhh – like the Good Witch..Duh -- However, she was more like the Good Bitch.!!! And I mean that in a good way!!!

So we had our usual phone chat about where to meet and what to wear. We were both filled with that hope & wanderlust of what the evening could have in store.
That is, until we got there?????????????? Oh Mother of God!!!!
It looked like the bar scene from Star Wars!! All these mutant peeps..
Bad cologne – bad hair- bad teeth and that’s the worse!!!! ewwwwwwww…
Our hopes had faded! OK, then we went to the next joint !!!!

NOoooooooooo!!! Worse!!!!!! This was the land of the misfit toys!!!! All I kept sayin was, don’t pay attention to the little man behind the curtain…. We did not even give eye contact!!! … When you’re in places like that you have to treat them like crazy peeps on the street – NO EYE CONTACT!! Pretend your Burt in SOAP – snap you fingers and disappear..!!!!

The only thing we were doing that was successful was getting DRUNK!!!! Big timeeeeeeeeeeee…

So after many a drink had to fall we decided to leave. Defeated – Wounded.
We ended up at our favorite diner type joint and did what every body does.. EAT…
After we felt like the drinks had withered we decided to hit the road…

I went to the register and asked for coffee to go, while I was waiting I noticed they had Gummy Bears!!! HUMMMMMMMM. SO BEING A HUGE IMPLUSE BUYER – I get me the coffee and a bag of Gummy Bears.

It was a beautiful evening, I had all the windows down and the moon roof opened, along with the radio blastin…I was zoomin down the West Side Highway like Mario Andretti.
The HOT coffee is in the cup holder and the bottle of water is on the floor of the passenger seat.

So there I am driving like I stole it – popin Gummy Bears and then I got Ballzy – I took handfuls of Gummy Bears and was shoving them in my mouth..
All of a sudden I realize the bears are stuck in my throat??????
OMGGGGGGGGGGGGG…

I start to cough.. Nothin….
Then I am chockin and making that terrible sound that goes along with it….
I look at the coffee – Its toooo HOTTTTTTTTTTT…
The water is on the floor and I am flyin down the west side highway- tryin to lean down, while choking trying to get it…

Sweat is drippin from my head – My life is flashin before my eyes…
I can read the headlines now.. Woman dies on the West side with Gummy Bears lodged in her throat!! OMGGGGGGGGGGGGG

The all of a sudden I give it this huge bellowing cough and out fly the BEARS…..
They landed on my windshield – splattered in the format of spread eagle…

And finally a sigh of relief!!!!
If I thought the Peeps in the Club looked bad, the sight of DA Bears on my windshield was worse.


My friend vowed never to drink again! And I vowed never to eat Gummy Bears while drivin!!!

NEXT

What’s in a name? Names are extremely important especially if it’s regarding your business. It then becomes your Brand.
So why is it some comedy clubs name the place, Funny Bones or LOL’s and so on. I neva got that! I mean think about it, are you gonna call your friends laughing on the phone going, OMG lets go to Funny Bones, hahahahhahaa OK?
What if all clubs named them for what they are?
Like “ One Night Stand” or “BANG” or STD’s. Would ya go?
Names can also create an inference in our minds about things. We find ourselves acting differently because we have set it up that way based on what ya head branded it as.
I remember back in my dating days I had this wooden box and I used a magic maker and wrote across the top of the box, “NEXT!”
Any time I was dating I would take the cards or letters or what eva they gave me and put it in this box called, next.
Every time I broke up with someone I then went to the garbage opened the NEXT box and emptied it.
When the next one came along all there shit went back into the Next box.
I suppose this was not a very optimistic approach to have because in my mind they were all NEXT!
I think sometimes we are the wooden box! We lock all of our fears, baggage and insecurities in it and assume that it will protect us if we just remain closed.
One day after giving up on the notion of ever meeting anyone that could be “THE ONE”, I took the next box and tossed it in the garbage.
Then the work began~ my motto was ~ “If you continue to do the same things everyday expecting different results, Slap yourself now!”
If you think you are gonna change someone, forget it~ It aint happening.
So after I did all this self-discovery I was really kinda cool with it all.
I was content with just hangin out with me rather than settling.

Then for a birthday a friend of mine gave me a new box. This one was cardboard with Moons and Stars on it. No room to label it.
I month after I got that box, I found the Love of my Life.
So get rid of all the old garbage and open yourself and your heart and BOOM – no more Next. And neva go to a comedy club called LOL..