SIGNS YOU WERE RAISED BY AN ITALIAN MOTHER

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. Your mom chooses (in one way or another) your girlfriends.Italian mothers can become extremely jealous and possessive over their sons. After the first date, they’ll enquire into how good of a cook she was, how clean and tidy her house was, and if her clothes were nicely ironed. But never say that your new girlfriend’s pasta sauce is better than your mom’s or she’ll dislike her from the beginning.·   . You never stop suffering her public displays of affection.
It doesn’t matter if you are in your teens and hanging out with friends after school, or if you’re 40something and socializing with colleagues, your mum will always address you as Il mio bambino. She will hug and kiss you as if she hasn’t seen you in years, when in fact you just had lunch together.·   . You grew up eating the best food in town.
For an Italian mamma, food is more than just a basic human need; it’s religion, culture, identity and love. Every time you return home, the first thing she’ll ask you: “Have you eaten?” If your mamma offers to prepare you “a little something” to eat, you can be sure it is not a sandwich, but a freshly made seafood spaghetti, which is better than any other you can have in town.·   . You know how competitive Christmas can get.
Christmas is the most important celebration of the year for an Italian mother, and not only because of its religious values but as a culinary show-off opportunity among the various women in the family — grandmas, aunts, daughters in law. The competition is fierce, and you’ll have to prepare yourself physically and psychologically months in advance for the massive 30-course meal. They’ll start planning it in August.·   . You know the pressure never ends.
While a regular non-Italian mother will accept your decisions once you’ve become an adult, an Italian mother will make sure you are constantly under pressure about finding a good job, getting good marks at university. She’ll nag you constantly with questions like: “Have you done your homework?” (at age 21 at university) or “Why are you not at work?” (even if it’s your day off and you keep reminding her every single weekend). She cannot comprehend why you are not doing “something.” If you are relaxing one afternoon on the sofa, she’ll make sure to let you know how upset she is about seeing you idle.·   . She always takes your side…publicly anyway.
Your Italian mum may nag you, but she won’t expect you to be the best. She’ll compliment you and treat you like a hero only because you passed an exam, or because none of your marks are lower than the passing grade. In front of the other parents, she’ll publicly announce your ‘high grades’, even if it was only in Physical Education. At parent-teacher meetings, the teachers may tell your mom you don’t always finish your homework and she’ll complain that perhaps they are giving you too much homework. She’ll take your side, but once you’re home, she’ll keep nagging you about your homework.·   . Your fashion sense is taken as reflection on her failure / success as a mother.
Even if you wear mismatched colors or pants with square patterns and a shirt with stripes to go to the post office, she’ll rant for two hours about how you look like a hobo and how miserably she failed as a mother.·   . She is your constant clothing inspector.
You can try to move out and keep away from your mamma, but even if you go hundreds of miles away, she’ll always come to see you and, during each visit, she’ll wash and iron your clothes. Then she’ll complain about the way you folded your socks and boxers. Although some might find this a bit OCD, it’s not so bad, especially if you are a young, incompetent adult male.·   . You can only leave Italy to go to the beach.
The average Italian guy will make his mum worried every time he mentions his desire to visit a new foreign city or country, and she’ll try to discourage any trip abroad. Every single place is considered hostile or unworthy.•  Me: “Mum, my friends and I are planning to visit London next month.”
•  Mom: “Why, what’s there you cannot find in here? People get killed there; it’s too dangerous.”

This is the same attitude for pretty much any other destination outside Italy. However, if you mention a beach destination, preferably in Italy but not necessarily, then you are excused. If you are planning a trip to Sharm el-Sheikh, a popular beach destination in southern Egypt, she’ll approve and you’ll most likely have to take her along with your wife. That’s not necessarily a bad thing though — after sunbathing for 15 hours, she’ll massage your burnt lobster-colored skin with her trusted homemade fresh tomato sauce. La mamma always knows best

Discover your Family Roots / Personal rooting journey to Italy

Have you ever wondered what makes you who you are?

This may appear to be a very Zen question however knowing who you are, where you came from, whom your ancestors were could indeed let you understand more of who you are!

You may have heard stories about the old country - (Italy) from your family. For me hearing these stories was like listening to an Opera. It not only made me feel a sense of pride but more of wanderlust for the need to explore more.

You can go on any one of those “ find your ancestors site’s”, for a fee and receive some information, which may create excitement in the moment, but yet you are still hungry more.

There is a company in Rome, Italy called Agrifeudi - www.agrifeudi.com.

They provide something so unique called Personal Rooting.  Here is how it works.
http://www.agrifeudi.com/img/rootist.pdf = learn more

They take you as far back to the 18th century. Can you imagine walking through the town of your ancestors? What if you discovered that your Great, Great, Grandfather (Nono) helped build the Trevi Fountain!

Then for a second you had that Ah-Ha moment.

When you were a child you were fascinated with bricks and rocks. Yet you never knew why you had this fascination.

Imagine not only seeing but touching documents and photos of ancestors that made you who you are today!

Some of us may have visited Italy and always end up in Rome seeing the beautiful architecture, the Vatican and more.

I know you are thinking that you cannot afford to do this! However Agrifeudi is budget friendly and will custom tailor to suit your needs.

Agrifeudi does not sell tours but rather a unique emotional rooting experience that will help you discover more of who you are.

So contact them and start planning your journey.

MERRY EVERYTHING.... so this is Christmas

MERRY EVERYTHING.... so this is Christmas

Available ~ Unavailable - Taken not Stirred!!

Available ~ Unavailable - Taken not Stirred!!

In listening to some of my friend relationship issues it seems like we all balance the dance of the Unavailable or Available.

I am a person that believes in magic and passion and romance. The kind that you feel when a stranger walks into a crowed room and ya just know it :)

Yet we still have a lifetime of baggage that we carry around that is invisible to the naked eye. If we knew about this baggage perhaps we would be more cautious but that my friends is the delicate dance of love.

It’s called "Letting Go!"

When you let go and become available emotionally great things happen, that is unless of course you are dating an emotionally unavailable person. Then you better strap on the seatbelt cause you are in the roller coaster of love and you are not even sure you meet the height requirement.

For years you were able to hide behind this shroud, never really letting people in.

You were really good at one nightstands because you could leave !!!!!!!!

Once in a while you would even meet someone that would call you on your shit. Letting you know how much you are missing out on because of your need to self protect. You were merely a prophylactic with no penetration.

Premature imagination~

So you decided that it was important to you to find a way to let go and let love in. You did all the right things, went to a shrink, self-reflection, and meditation and even chanted once in a while. Then the day came! It happens without thought or intention. You just meet someone and you feel the rush of fear fall out of your body. You did it – YOU LET GO ~~

This is what it feels like to be available. You can actually feel it leave and guess what you are still ok!

But here is the dangerous part. If the person you let go for is slightly unavailable you feel all the things that scared the shit of of you in the first place. The things that made you want to be unavailable. So now you really know what it feels like to be open. You hurt, you cry, you get angry. You fight, you yell. The very things you ran from are now you’re day to day.

It’s then that you realize: “now I know why I held back!” Who wants to feel this shit!

Abort! Abort!

Nah, you really don’t want to go back to not felling, do you?

I would rather feel a thousand hurts then not feel anything at all.

That’s what it’s all about Alfie~

Never go back always move forward and never stop yourself from feeling.

So get taken by someone not stirred.

Time to take out the trash!

Being someone who knows a ting or two about Waste Management I feel that I have been able to manage most of my junk. In truth that is what you are really doing MANAGING it. As it basically stays with you but you need to stop feeding it.Think of how many times BAGGAGE has ruined relationships?Think of how many people you have met in your life and then realized you felt like you were at the luggage carousel at JFK airport still waiting for more to fall out.Well here's the bad news - you can't change it. Only they can.What ever their addiction is, it will always be with them until they do something about it.OK so now you might be thinking -ADDICTION?Yup baggage is an addiction.Addicted to bad behavior.Addicted to the past!Addicted to an old boyfriend, and EX and so on.

The funny thing with this is they never see it! Its so engrained in them that they think it's just fine. The sad thing is that they will never be able to have a giving and fulfilling life because they only focus on the addiction.

They are never present for anything else but that... Friends, Romans and Codependents let go of the people that will never love you or treat you the way you deserve to be treated.The narcissists that just want it to be all about them and have you scurry about making all good for them and their bad day or bad date and fucked up life. The ones that suck the life outta ya because all you can do is listen to them go on and on and you like a Mook sit there and say not a word. 

What's the worse that can happen if ya just said - ya know - I have been listening to your shit for years and its the same thing. Did you ever think it was you? Noooooooooo!!

Because you think you are the catch of the day. And that people are mean and hurtful ONLY to you.

Stop the insanity! Let go of these controlling blood suckers that keep you in a trance and never make you pass go or collect 200 bucks....Take a deep breath and just STOP feeding them and in doing so you will find a whole new world waiting for you. Where you're not being told how imperfect you are or you'll never be like me BS.

Its a hard thing to do but if you start thinking about it you are half way there...Just think if you leave your shit by the curb once a week like the rest of the trash you might just be on you way to letting go..

Three Penny Opera

Has anyone been to the MET lately? If so than God Bless. Because if you have, you either have more money than Palachi – know a guy – found a guy – or took a distribution from your 401k!

I happen to be one of those very eclectic peeps. The music I listen to varies from- Rock – Blues- Jazz – and Tango!! OMG, I loves me some Tango music…  I love fine art, abstract and yet I can kick back with the best of the blue-collar anywho’s…now that’s a friggin ART!

I despise pretension!!! I mean lets get real Folk’s, unless you were born in the Vanderbilt mansion, knock it off!!! Even Anderson Cooper has a sense of humor ~ well sort of???

Once in a while you have to take the stick out of your coulo! You might even enjoy hangin whit the little folk. Because basically you are just a Lolly Pop kid looking for height.

The world is tough enough, No? --- We are all connected by 6 degree’s of separation. Bet cha pissed off now!!!

And since the recession or depression set in it has made it worse! For me though, traveling around this country of ours – I think it’s worse in NYC.

Think of when your 401k was whole! You would drive thru Chelsea and pass all those foo foo clubs with the velvet ropes and see all those foo foo gurls on line with their little black dresses and their Gucci bags waiting to get in….

Well, ya still seem em, but now they are online with their little dresses, with their cuma-se-chama hangin out, their knock off bag and a sign that says, “ I will date for food and the Philharmonic!

However choosing your friends is way different than being born into your family!!!!

Hey, you remember that show called the Locator?

This guy gets letters from people looking for their family’s that gave them up for adoption or friends that have lost friends..

I’m not talking about the lost boyz, that’s a whole other story..

I can see it now. I contact the guy from the Locator. Hi Troy, my name is Maryann Smith. I was adopted when I was 8 years old. All I know from my adopted family is that, they gave me up after I set a Nun’s veil on fire? But I have this desire to connect.

So Troy goes on DA hunt.

He meets me at the Bada Bing Club and says, “I found your family”!

OMG!!!!!!

Yes and I have a video of one of their Christmas dinners.

He plays the video, there are 7 fishes, zepolies, nuts, pastry, and my FAMILY.. They were reenacting the 3 penny opera.. Now rememba – this is an opera "by and for beggars!

So there’s my Brother singing Mack da knife!!! Then my sister starts cuttin hair!!!!! And my other Sister is dressed like a hussy from Berlin????????

IT WAS AMAZINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!

I looked at Troy and said – um – tell them you couldn’t find me!!!!!

But cha know what! Families are made up of the good, the bad and the ugly!  Whistle here!!!

My family has never seen an Opera, they don’t need to, they create their own drama. However, this does not make them bad people, or less than.

And those folks that feel that they would never want to mix with the likes of “those folks”! Most likely are covering up some type of dysfunction of their own, That’s why they hide in the orcastra pit!!

Look I have Champaign taste on a beggar’s budget! I loves me some Crème Brulee …However, I am proud to say that I still can crave a Devil Dog too~~~~

So here be da deal!!   Get off your high horse! ~  I always hated that statement!!! Lighten up !!!  See the good in people not what they are wearing. Love your neighbor – but don’t get caught!!!

And NEVER –EVER JUDGE ANY ONE.. ESPECIALY AN ITALIAN!!!

WE know all the judges any way~~~~~

UNKNOWN QUOTE

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

THE FAT LADY HAS SUNG!!!!!!