MERRY EVERYTHING.... so this is Christmas

MERRY EVERYTHING.... so this is Christmas

Available ~ Unavailable - Taken not Stirred!!

Available ~ Unavailable - Taken not Stirred!!

In listening to some of my friend relationship issues it seems like we all balance the dance of the Unavailable or Available.

I am a person that believes in magic and passion and romance. The kind that you feel when a stranger walks into a crowed room and ya just know it :)

Yet we still have a lifetime of baggage that we carry around that is invisible to the naked eye. If we knew about this baggage perhaps we would be more cautious but that my friends is the delicate dance of love.

It’s called "Letting Go!"

When you let go and become available emotionally great things happen, that is unless of course you are dating an emotionally unavailable person. Then you better strap on the seatbelt cause you are in the roller coaster of love and you are not even sure you meet the height requirement.

For years you were able to hide behind this shroud, never really letting people in.

You were really good at one nightstands because you could leave !!!!!!!!

Once in a while you would even meet someone that would call you on your shit. Letting you know how much you are missing out on because of your need to self protect. You were merely a prophylactic with no penetration.

Premature imagination~

So you decided that it was important to you to find a way to let go and let love in. You did all the right things, went to a shrink, self-reflection, and meditation and even chanted once in a while. Then the day came! It happens without thought or intention. You just meet someone and you feel the rush of fear fall out of your body. You did it – YOU LET GO ~~

This is what it feels like to be available. You can actually feel it leave and guess what you are still ok!

But here is the dangerous part. If the person you let go for is slightly unavailable you feel all the things that scared the shit of of you in the first place. The things that made you want to be unavailable. So now you really know what it feels like to be open. You hurt, you cry, you get angry. You fight, you yell. The very things you ran from are now you’re day to day.

It’s then that you realize: “now I know why I held back!” Who wants to feel this shit!

Abort! Abort!

Nah, you really don’t want to go back to not felling, do you?

I would rather feel a thousand hurts then not feel anything at all.

That’s what it’s all about Alfie~

Never go back always move forward and never stop yourself from feeling.

So get taken by someone not stirred.

Time to take out the trash!

Being someone who knows a ting or two about Waste Management I feel that I have been able to manage most of my junk. In truth that is what you are really doing MANAGING it. As it basically stays with you but you need to stop feeding it.Think of how many times BAGGAGE has ruined relationships?Think of how many people you have met in your life and then realized you felt like you were at the luggage carousel at JFK airport still waiting for more to fall out.Well here's the bad news - you can't change it. Only they can.What ever their addiction is, it will always be with them until they do something about it.OK so now you might be thinking -ADDICTION?Yup baggage is an addiction.Addicted to bad behavior.Addicted to the past!Addicted to an old boyfriend, and EX and so on.

The funny thing with this is they never see it! Its so engrained in them that they think it's just fine. The sad thing is that they will never be able to have a giving and fulfilling life because they only focus on the addiction.

They are never present for anything else but that... Friends, Romans and Codependents let go of the people that will never love you or treat you the way you deserve to be treated.The narcissists that just want it to be all about them and have you scurry about making all good for them and their bad day or bad date and fucked up life. The ones that suck the life outta ya because all you can do is listen to them go on and on and you like a Mook sit there and say not a word. 

What's the worse that can happen if ya just said - ya know - I have been listening to your shit for years and its the same thing. Did you ever think it was you? Noooooooooo!!

Because you think you are the catch of the day. And that people are mean and hurtful ONLY to you.

Stop the insanity! Let go of these controlling blood suckers that keep you in a trance and never make you pass go or collect 200 bucks....Take a deep breath and just STOP feeding them and in doing so you will find a whole new world waiting for you. Where you're not being told how imperfect you are or you'll never be like me BS.

Its a hard thing to do but if you start thinking about it you are half way there...Just think if you leave your shit by the curb once a week like the rest of the trash you might just be on you way to letting go..

Three Penny Opera

Has anyone been to the MET lately? If so than God Bless. Because if you have, you either have more money than Palachi – know a guy – found a guy – or took a distribution from your 401k!

I happen to be one of those very eclectic peeps. The music I listen to varies from- Rock – Blues- Jazz – and Tango!! OMG, I loves me some Tango music…  I love fine art, abstract and yet I can kick back with the best of the blue-collar anywho’s…now that’s a friggin ART!

I despise pretension!!! I mean lets get real Folk’s, unless you were born in the Vanderbilt mansion, knock it off!!! Even Anderson Cooper has a sense of humor ~ well sort of???

Once in a while you have to take the stick out of your coulo! You might even enjoy hangin whit the little folk. Because basically you are just a Lolly Pop kid looking for height.

The world is tough enough, No? --- We are all connected by 6 degree’s of separation. Bet cha pissed off now!!!

And since the recession or depression set in it has made it worse! For me though, traveling around this country of ours – I think it’s worse in NYC.

Think of when your 401k was whole! You would drive thru Chelsea and pass all those foo foo clubs with the velvet ropes and see all those foo foo gurls on line with their little black dresses and their Gucci bags waiting to get in….

Well, ya still seem em, but now they are online with their little dresses, with their cuma-se-chama hangin out, their knock off bag and a sign that says, “ I will date for food and the Philharmonic!

However choosing your friends is way different than being born into your family!!!!

Hey, you remember that show called the Locator?

This guy gets letters from people looking for their family’s that gave them up for adoption or friends that have lost friends..

I’m not talking about the lost boyz, that’s a whole other story..

I can see it now. I contact the guy from the Locator. Hi Troy, my name is Maryann Smith. I was adopted when I was 8 years old. All I know from my adopted family is that, they gave me up after I set a Nun’s veil on fire? But I have this desire to connect.

So Troy goes on DA hunt.

He meets me at the Bada Bing Club and says, “I found your family”!

OMG!!!!!!

Yes and I have a video of one of their Christmas dinners.

He plays the video, there are 7 fishes, zepolies, nuts, pastry, and my FAMILY.. They were reenacting the 3 penny opera.. Now rememba – this is an opera "by and for beggars!

So there’s my Brother singing Mack da knife!!! Then my sister starts cuttin hair!!!!! And my other Sister is dressed like a hussy from Berlin????????

IT WAS AMAZINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!

I looked at Troy and said – um – tell them you couldn’t find me!!!!!

But cha know what! Families are made up of the good, the bad and the ugly!  Whistle here!!!

My family has never seen an Opera, they don’t need to, they create their own drama. However, this does not make them bad people, or less than.

And those folks that feel that they would never want to mix with the likes of “those folks”! Most likely are covering up some type of dysfunction of their own, That’s why they hide in the orcastra pit!!

Look I have Champaign taste on a beggar’s budget! I loves me some Crème Brulee …However, I am proud to say that I still can crave a Devil Dog too~~~~

So here be da deal!!   Get off your high horse! ~  I always hated that statement!!! Lighten up !!!  See the good in people not what they are wearing. Love your neighbor – but don’t get caught!!!

And NEVER –EVER JUDGE ANY ONE.. ESPECIALY AN ITALIAN!!!

WE know all the judges any way~~~~~

UNKNOWN QUOTE

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

THE FAT LADY HAS SUNG!!!!!!

Lions & Tigers & Bears ohhh Minga

Ahhhh , our YOUT !!! Memba all those crazy things ya did? The kinda crap that if someone called ya today and said hey, lets? - You’d say – What!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

Either you would be to tired?

Worried about da cash?

Too stressed?

Or worse – you lost your cannoli’s….

It was like 10 years ago! You can play that weird – odd creepy remembering music now!!!

I called a friend of mine and we were meeting in the City to go on Da Prowl.. My friend has this magical name – Glinda as in da Good Witch!! So hittin the clubs with her was always a friggin joy as everyone that met her said – ohhh – like the Good Witch..Duh -- However, she was more like the Good Bitch.!!! And I mean that in a good way!!!

So we had our usual phone chat about where to meet and what to wear. We were both filled with that hope & wanderlust of what the evening could have in store.

That is, until we got there?????????????? Oh Mother of God!!!!

It looked like the bar scene from Star Wars!! All these mutant peeps..

Bad cologne – bad hair- bad teeth and that’s the worse!!!! ewwwwwwww…

Our hopes had faded! OK, then we went to the next joint !!!!

NOoooooooooo!!! Worse!!!!!! This was the land of the misfit toys!!!! All I kept sayin was, don’t pay attention to the little man behind the curtain…. We did not even give eye contact!!! … When you’re in places like that you have to treat them like crazy peeps on the street – NO EYE CONTACT!! Pretend your Burt in SOAP – snap you fingers and disappear..!!!!

The only thing we were doing that was successful was getting DRUNK!!!! Big timeeeeeeeeeeee…

So after many a drink had to fall we decided to leave. Defeated – Wounded.

We ended up at our favorite diner type joint and did what every body does.. EAT…

After we felt like the drinks had withered we decided to hit the road…

I went to the register and asked for coffee to go, while I was waiting I noticed they had Gummy Bears!!! HUMMMMMMMM. SO BEING A HUGE IMPLUSE BUYER – I get me the coffee and a bag of Gummy Bears.

It was a beautiful evening, I had all the windows down and the moon roof opened, along with the radio blastin…I was zoomin down the West Side Highway like Mario Andretti.

The HOT coffee is in the cup holder and the bottle of water is on the floor of the passenger seat.

So there I am driving like I stole it – popin Gummy Bears and then I got Ballsie – I took handfuls of Gummy Bears and was shoving them in my mouth..

All of a sudden I realize the bears are stuck in my throat??????

OMGGGGGGGGGGGGG…

I start to cough.. Nothin….

Then I am chocking and making that terrible sound that goes along with it….

I look at the coffee – Its toooo HOTTTTTTTTTTT…

The water is on the floor and I am flyin down the west side highway- tryin to lean down, while choking trying to get it…

Sweat is drippin from my head – My life is flashin before my eyes…

I can read the headlines now.. Woman dies on the West side with Gummy Bears lodged in her throat!! OMGGGGGGGGGGGGG

The all of a sudden I give it this huge bellowing cough and out fly the BEARS…

They landed on my windshield – splattered in the format of spread eagle…

And finally a sigh of relief!!!!

If I thought the Peeps in the Club looked bad, the sight of DA Bears on my windshield was worse.

My friend vowed never to drink again! And I vowed never to eat Gummy Bears while drivin!!!

LENT WITH THE OPTION TO BUY

Its that time of the year again when we are faced with one of the most tempting decisions.

TO PEEP OR NOT TO PEEP !! 

Ya know, those marshmallow things shaped into the form of a chick, with sugar all over it!

Its Easter time !!!  Quick find your bonnet ~ get ready for Da Easter parade.. Get your HOLY Chocolate now!  CHOCOLATE EGGS, BUNNIES, CROSSES – OMG !!!!

AND LETS NOT FORGET ALL OF THEOSE EASTER MOVIES –

The Robe – the Ten Commandments – King of Kings and Easter Parade!!!

This is the Christian celebration of the Resurrection of Christ .. Where did the friggin chocolate and Peter cotton tail come in?

And Lent !!!

Give up something you love for the 40-day period, symbolizing the Lenten season's return to simplicity and purity. It doesn't matter what you give up - cigarettes, chocolate, surfing the Internet - as long as the meaning of its absence holds significant value to you.

I was raised Roman Catholic but pulled away from many of the traditions of the religion. For me the Church is one of the biggest Corporations around. I believe that the word of God has been manipulated through the times to support  MAN MADE rules.

We even have our own city !!!! VATICAN CITY !!  Did u eva!

Why do you think spirituality has become so popular?

Everyone you meet today calls them selves spiritual!

I mean even if you go on dating websites under religion one of the categories is spirituality.

Since when did spiritual become a religion? I thought spiritual was something you were when no other religion would have you!!!

And has the Universe replaced God?

I have a friend that says to me, Mare – don’t get pissed, give it up to the universe?

Give it love and defuse it! Karma will take care of it!!

Ahhhh here comes the Dalai Lama tail, hoppin down the wellness trail!!          WHAT !!!!

It’s hard to be spiritual when you are Italian !

I can see it now. 

Ding dong – who’s there?

KARMA!

Karma who?

Look open da friggin door before I smack ya!!!!

But here we are Lost in DA Bunnies. Lookin for Lent in all the wrong places.

Maybe it’s not even something tangible that you should give up?

Maybe you should give up bad behavior?

Or stop being a Nasty Ass!

Or maybe, just maybe try to be more tolerant!

 But inevitably you will find yourself in CVS or the grocery store on line starring at PEEPS and thinking – Hummmmmmmmm.

Maybe I’ll only buy one package?

Ok so the power of the PEEPS has taken you over – you BUY the friggin PEEPS!

Only to get them home and poke a few holes in the package and have to wait till the next day to eat them so they are nice and stale.

Now that’s LENT !!!!  WAITING FOR THE PEEPS TO GET HARD?

Which resembles sex – hummmmmmmm….

So all you Peeps out there that are so perplexed as to what to give up or if you’re feeling like you are not being a good Catholic just sit back and ponder a bit.

If you need/want to follow the traditions of the religion then fine!!!

If you struggle with some of those MAN MADE interpretations, then just do the right things, love your neighbor ( as long as they are not married ) follow right action and if you really want to – just buy the damn PEEPS!