Thursday, February 23, 2012
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
The rants and raves of an Italian Chick: ITALIAN DISAPLINE
The rants and raves of an Italian Chick: ITALIAN DISAPLINE: ITALIAN DISAPLINE I realize that life evolves sometime for the good. Sometimes the turn of events are friggin crazy… When I was a kid we...
ITALIAN DISAPLINE
ITALIAN DISAPLINE
I realize that life evolves sometime for the good. Sometimes the turn of events are friggin crazy…
When I was a kid we had very little to amuse our selves.
Yup we had playgrounds. But all that was there was a chain link fence holding all that fun in.. There was a slide, swings and a teader totter. Oh yea and the best, there was gravel all over the playground floor…
Have u ever seen a playground today? Well first of all there is a sign with rules listed before u enter… Then its all color coordinated… Everything has foam rubber on it and even the ground is colored coated with a bouncie kind of material?
When kids fall off a swing today, they bounce – when we fell o we bled!!! Then your Mom would hit ya for fallin!!!!
And play dates! We never had play dates are u kiddin me.. If your friends showed up – cool. If not you were on your own.
Please my Dad was from Italy - we were not even allowed to date!!! Hahahaha
Time outs??? What – What!!!!!! Never, I never heard my Mom say, Maryann if u don’t stop that you are going in a time out or the naughty corner!! She would say, “Maryann, stop that!” She would give me 2 opportunities – then if I didn’t- Wham – her slipper to my head….Ohh fahhhhhhhhh.. Her slipper could go around corners. Her slippers were ALIVE!
Our toys were just plain and simple. No buttons, batteries, no hand held video games..
We has slinkeys, remember them?? It was just a wrapped up wire. You could move it side to side and make it walk down the stairs. Mine would never walk down the stairs – it was fall – like a drunk person! Then it would all unravel and get caught on my ear…
Etcha-scetch was our computer….with a DOS program. I would sit for hours trying to make a house- it was all right angles… There I was on the sofa, my tongue moving with the knobs and then finally, finally I made what resembled a house.. But the time I ran to the kitchen to show Mom it was erased!!!!
The magnet guy- memba him? The guy in the plastic with the magnetic ashes and the magnet pencil… There you were puling hair on his head and making mustaches. Oh Joy!!!
Ah yes and then Barbie! I hated Barbie’s – there was Malibu Barbie, Skipper – Barbie’s little hussy friend. And then Madge? Remember Madge? She was Barbie’s Italian friend that nobody wanted…
The first video game I got was PONG!! You sat there and watched this white ball bounce back and forth. After I played that I needed tums….
We had this statue of the Blessed Mother in the back yard. When my friend came over we got plywood from the cellar and put it on a slant over the statue, that was our slide. My Mom would yell out the back window – get off the Blessed Mother – that’s why we cant have nice things!!!!
When I was a kid – you got hit! Big deal so ya cried a little. But cha got hit!! Then you got the treat of, when Daddy gets home.. MINGA>…..Then Dad would get in and say. Do u want me to take out the belt?? Hummmmm – nah – I’m cool Dad…. Hahahahaha
Today kids have the 800 # to child services…
If we ever made a call like that –Ohh fahhhhhh. I can hear it now.
Marianna – don’t you ever go against that family…Do u understand..No way was I gona do that! Before ya know it I would be on a fishing trip with Fredo .
So maybe we need to go back to times when things were simple!
Let little Suzie eat a cookie, take the sprouts out of her lunch box.
On Sundays when we got out of bed and walked into the kitchen, Mom gave us 2 meatballs and a cup of coffee!! Yup, that was your breakfast!!!
Time out my ass~~~~
Maryann!!! Yea Ma !! Don’t make me come ova there and crack ya one.!! Ahhhhhhh , there’s no place like home
I realize that life evolves sometime for the good. Sometimes the turn of events are friggin crazy…
When I was a kid we had very little to amuse our selves.
Yup we had playgrounds. But all that was there was a chain link fence holding all that fun in.. There was a slide, swings and a teader totter. Oh yea and the best, there was gravel all over the playground floor…
Have u ever seen a playground today? Well first of all there is a sign with rules listed before u enter… Then its all color coordinated… Everything has foam rubber on it and even the ground is colored coated with a bouncie kind of material?
When kids fall off a swing today, they bounce – when we fell o we bled!!! Then your Mom would hit ya for fallin!!!!
And play dates! We never had play dates are u kiddin me.. If your friends showed up – cool. If not you were on your own.
Please my Dad was from Italy - we were not even allowed to date!!! Hahahaha
Time outs??? What – What!!!!!! Never, I never heard my Mom say, Maryann if u don’t stop that you are going in a time out or the naughty corner!! She would say, “Maryann, stop that!” She would give me 2 opportunities – then if I didn’t- Wham – her slipper to my head….Ohh fahhhhhhhhh.. Her slipper could go around corners. Her slippers were ALIVE!
Our toys were just plain and simple. No buttons, batteries, no hand held video games..
We has slinkeys, remember them?? It was just a wrapped up wire. You could move it side to side and make it walk down the stairs. Mine would never walk down the stairs – it was fall – like a drunk person! Then it would all unravel and get caught on my ear…
Etcha-scetch was our computer….with a DOS program. I would sit for hours trying to make a house- it was all right angles… There I was on the sofa, my tongue moving with the knobs and then finally, finally I made what resembled a house.. But the time I ran to the kitchen to show Mom it was erased!!!!
The magnet guy- memba him? The guy in the plastic with the magnetic ashes and the magnet pencil… There you were puling hair on his head and making mustaches. Oh Joy!!!
Ah yes and then Barbie! I hated Barbie’s – there was Malibu Barbie, Skipper – Barbie’s little hussy friend. And then Madge? Remember Madge? She was Barbie’s Italian friend that nobody wanted…
The first video game I got was PONG!! You sat there and watched this white ball bounce back and forth. After I played that I needed tums….
We had this statue of the Blessed Mother in the back yard. When my friend came over we got plywood from the cellar and put it on a slant over the statue, that was our slide. My Mom would yell out the back window – get off the Blessed Mother – that’s why we cant have nice things!!!!
When I was a kid – you got hit! Big deal so ya cried a little. But cha got hit!! Then you got the treat of, when Daddy gets home.. MINGA>…..Then Dad would get in and say. Do u want me to take out the belt?? Hummmmm – nah – I’m cool Dad…. Hahahahaha
Today kids have the 800 # to child services…
If we ever made a call like that –Ohh fahhhhhh. I can hear it now.
Marianna – don’t you ever go against that family…Do u understand..No way was I gona do that! Before ya know it I would be on a fishing trip with Fredo .
So maybe we need to go back to times when things were simple!
Let little Suzie eat a cookie, take the sprouts out of her lunch box.
On Sundays when we got out of bed and walked into the kitchen, Mom gave us 2 meatballs and a cup of coffee!! Yup, that was your breakfast!!!
Time out my ass~~~~
Maryann!!! Yea Ma !! Don’t make me come ova there and crack ya one.!! Ahhhhhhh , there’s no place like home
Friday, February 3, 2012
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Da Love Boat
Exciting and new ~ come aboard we’re expecting you!
Where is Julie the cruise ship director when you need her!!
We are indeed living in some whacked out times. The economy, da weather, so high tech that I can google earth your ass and find out where are.
Yet the oldest thing in the world is still the hardest - L O V E …
I have a friend ( whom shall remain nameless ) that is always in some kind of drama or in flux.
The people she meets all lie. Now come on peeps, why would you put up a photo of you that was taken 10 years ago? This includes da Women too!
What happens when someone wants to meet cha?
Why lie and pretend you are not married?
Oh I see, you wanna get a little !!! Minga….
What happened to that magic moment when you meet someone across a crowed room and fall deeply in love. I’ll tell ya what happened! The room’s aint that crowded any more and the room was replaced by your computer. Ahhhhhh High-Tech love… Skype me Baby….
Now look I am a huge fan of the Internet and all it has to offer. I even met my Honey on da net. However at some point when you finally get dat Face to Face with your potential new lover all of a sudden da thrill is gone?
Your imagination and the fantasy of it all can be so intoxicating that you are lead into a drug induced feeling of Loveness. But da face to face snaps your ass right out of it and you then find yourself on dat roller coaster doing a downward spiral. You’re sayin – do I meet the height requirement for this ride?
At times my friends have even said, well yeah I met him and I did not have that – ahhhhhhhh connection but I think I need to give it a little time. Before ya know it, da holidays are coming and you think well – I’m just gonna give it a little more time. WHY!!
Sometimes the holidays came make you do some dumb things! Like stay with someone you met at Halloween just because the season is on the way.
Lying - restraining orders – Oh My ~~~ and so it goes !!!
Whether you are the Hunter or the Huntress, Da Goombah or da Gomada -speak the truth! Dare to be different.
Meeting people is hard enough. Let alone going on the quest to find the love of your life.
If you’re lucky you can see through al the shit by the 2nd date. Sometimes it takes 6 months before you can see through the shit.
Stats prove that people can change their behavior for 6 months then after that they will go back to who they really are.. When someone shows you their true colors the first time, believe them. It is truly what it is.
We all have enough drama do we really need someone else’s? And don’t fall into that “ I don’t wana be alone BS!” Because after 6 months when u are having morning coffee and you look at the Mook across the table you will wanna beat your own ass with a stick..
Here is the road map of what to look for….
Someone who is present!
Someone that can give you love, mutual respect and who is considerate.
Someone that supports who and what you are.
Someone that knows a relationship means compromise and finding the middle of the road.
Someone you don’t settle for.
Someone you don’t have to fix or change, cuz guess what? Ya Can’t!
Now that you have a lot to bring to the table and that you deserve to feel all that passion and fire.
Look for understanding instead of miscommunication and frustration. Instead of friction and competition have mutual support and cooperation.
Continue to keep your heart open and hold on to an optimistic view of the future.
“For true partnership is achieved only by separate and whole beings who retain their separateness even as the unite. Remember to let the winds of Heaven dance between you”! So says the Rune of partnership.
Get back what you give and give what you get back. All that just to say balance and respect.
Once you have all that, the Passion, romance and spontaneity go hand and hand.
So promise yourself that you will no longer fool yourself with your own enchantment and expectation but be more vigilant in your quest.
Now isn’t that RomanticJ
So hang on to your Hat’s kid cause Valentine’s Day is right around da corner. Ahhhhh da pressure of it all… Your crew asks you~ you gotta date?
You think OMG what if I am alone on Valentines Day!!
Look the last thing you want to do is settle for da Mook who asks ya out and then have that tortured decision to make!
Ok if he buys me a really nice gift do I haf’ta BANG him?
Where is Julie the cruise ship director when you need her!!
We are indeed living in some whacked out times. The economy, da weather, so high tech that I can google earth your ass and find out where are.
Yet the oldest thing in the world is still the hardest - L O V E …
I have a friend ( whom shall remain nameless ) that is always in some kind of drama or in flux.
The people she meets all lie. Now come on peeps, why would you put up a photo of you that was taken 10 years ago? This includes da Women too!
What happens when someone wants to meet cha?
Why lie and pretend you are not married?
Oh I see, you wanna get a little !!! Minga….
What happened to that magic moment when you meet someone across a crowed room and fall deeply in love. I’ll tell ya what happened! The room’s aint that crowded any more and the room was replaced by your computer. Ahhhhhh High-Tech love… Skype me Baby….
Now look I am a huge fan of the Internet and all it has to offer. I even met my Honey on da net. However at some point when you finally get dat Face to Face with your potential new lover all of a sudden da thrill is gone?
Your imagination and the fantasy of it all can be so intoxicating that you are lead into a drug induced feeling of Loveness. But da face to face snaps your ass right out of it and you then find yourself on dat roller coaster doing a downward spiral. You’re sayin – do I meet the height requirement for this ride?
At times my friends have even said, well yeah I met him and I did not have that – ahhhhhhhh connection but I think I need to give it a little time. Before ya know it, da holidays are coming and you think well – I’m just gonna give it a little more time. WHY!!
Sometimes the holidays came make you do some dumb things! Like stay with someone you met at Halloween just because the season is on the way.
Lying - restraining orders – Oh My ~~~ and so it goes !!!
Whether you are the Hunter or the Huntress, Da Goombah or da Gomada -speak the truth! Dare to be different.
Meeting people is hard enough. Let alone going on the quest to find the love of your life.
If you’re lucky you can see through al the shit by the 2nd date. Sometimes it takes 6 months before you can see through the shit.
Stats prove that people can change their behavior for 6 months then after that they will go back to who they really are.. When someone shows you their true colors the first time, believe them. It is truly what it is.
We all have enough drama do we really need someone else’s? And don’t fall into that “ I don’t wana be alone BS!” Because after 6 months when u are having morning coffee and you look at the Mook across the table you will wanna beat your own ass with a stick..
Here is the road map of what to look for….
Someone who is present!
Someone that can give you love, mutual respect and who is considerate.
Someone that supports who and what you are.
Someone that knows a relationship means compromise and finding the middle of the road.
Someone you don’t settle for.
Someone you don’t have to fix or change, cuz guess what? Ya Can’t!
Now that you have a lot to bring to the table and that you deserve to feel all that passion and fire.
Look for understanding instead of miscommunication and frustration. Instead of friction and competition have mutual support and cooperation.
Continue to keep your heart open and hold on to an optimistic view of the future.
“For true partnership is achieved only by separate and whole beings who retain their separateness even as the unite. Remember to let the winds of Heaven dance between you”! So says the Rune of partnership.
Get back what you give and give what you get back. All that just to say balance and respect.
Once you have all that, the Passion, romance and spontaneity go hand and hand.
So promise yourself that you will no longer fool yourself with your own enchantment and expectation but be more vigilant in your quest.
Now isn’t that RomanticJ
So hang on to your Hat’s kid cause Valentine’s Day is right around da corner. Ahhhhh da pressure of it all… Your crew asks you~ you gotta date?
You think OMG what if I am alone on Valentines Day!!
Look the last thing you want to do is settle for da Mook who asks ya out and then have that tortured decision to make!
Ok if he buys me a really nice gift do I haf’ta BANG him?
Friday, January 27, 2012
Lions & Tigers & Bears ohhh Minga
Ahhhh , our YOUT !!! Memba all those crazy things ya did? The kinda crap that if someone called ya today and said hey, lets? - You’d say – What!!!!!!!!!!!!!.
Either you would be to tired?
Worried about da cash?
Too stressed?
Or worse – you lost your cannoli’s….
It was like 10 years ago! You can play that weird – odd creepy remembering music now!!!
I called a friend of mine and we were meeting in the City to go on Da Prowl.. My friend has this magical name – Glinda as in da Good Witch!! So hittin the clubs with her was always a friggin joy as everyone that met her said – ohhh – like the Good Witch..Duh -- However, she was more like the Good Bitch.!!! And I mean that in a good way!!!
So we had our usual phone chat about where to meet and what to wear. We were both filled with that hope & wanderlust of what the evening could have in store.
That is, until we got there?????????????? Oh Mother of God!!!!
It looked like the bar scene from Star Wars!! All these mutant peeps..
Bad cologne – bad hair- bad teeth and that’s the worse!!!! ewwwwwwww…
Our hopes had faded! OK, then we went to the next joint !!!!
NOoooooooooo!!! Worse!!!!!! This was the land of the misfit toys!!!! All I kept sayin was, don’t pay attention to the little man behind the curtain…. We did not even give eye contact!!! … When you’re in places like that you have to treat them like crazy peeps on the street – NO EYE CONTACT!! Pretend your Burt in SOAP – snap you fingers and disappear..!!!!
The only thing we were doing that was successful was getting DRUNK!!!! Big timeeeeeeeeeeee…
So after many a drink had to fall we decided to leave. Defeated – Wounded.
We ended up at our favorite diner type joint and did what every body does.. EAT…
After we felt like the drinks had withered we decided to hit the road…
I went to the register and asked for coffee to go, while I was waiting I noticed they had Gummy Bears!!! HUMMMMMMMM. SO BEING A HUGE IMPLUSE BUYER – I get me the coffee and a bag of Gummy Bears.
It was a beautiful evening, I had all the windows down and the moon roof opened, along with the radio blastin…I was zoomin down the West Side Highway like Mario Andretti.
The HOT coffee is in the cup holder and the bottle of water is on the floor of the passenger seat.
So there I am driving like I stole it – popin Gummy Bears and then I got Ballzy – I took handfuls of Gummy Bears and was shoving them in my mouth..
All of a sudden I realize the bears are stuck in my throat??????
OMGGGGGGGGGGGGG…
I start to cough.. Nothin….
Then I am chockin and making that terrible sound that goes along with it….
I look at the coffee – Its toooo HOTTTTTTTTTTT…
The water is on the floor and I am flyin down the west side highway- tryin to lean down, while choking trying to get it…
Sweat is drippin from my head – My life is flashin before my eyes…
I can read the headlines now.. Woman dies on the West side with Gummy Bears lodged in her throat!! OMGGGGGGGGGGGGG
The all of a sudden I give it this huge bellowing cough and out fly the BEARS…..
They landed on my windshield – splattered in the format of spread eagle…
And finally a sigh of relief!!!!
If I thought the Peeps in the Club looked bad, the sight of DA Bears on my windshield was worse.
My friend vowed never to drink again! And I vowed never to eat Gummy Bears while drivin!!!
Either you would be to tired?
Worried about da cash?
Too stressed?
Or worse – you lost your cannoli’s….
It was like 10 years ago! You can play that weird – odd creepy remembering music now!!!
I called a friend of mine and we were meeting in the City to go on Da Prowl.. My friend has this magical name – Glinda as in da Good Witch!! So hittin the clubs with her was always a friggin joy as everyone that met her said – ohhh – like the Good Witch..Duh -- However, she was more like the Good Bitch.!!! And I mean that in a good way!!!
So we had our usual phone chat about where to meet and what to wear. We were both filled with that hope & wanderlust of what the evening could have in store.
That is, until we got there?????????????? Oh Mother of God!!!!
It looked like the bar scene from Star Wars!! All these mutant peeps..
Bad cologne – bad hair- bad teeth and that’s the worse!!!! ewwwwwwww…
Our hopes had faded! OK, then we went to the next joint !!!!
NOoooooooooo!!! Worse!!!!!! This was the land of the misfit toys!!!! All I kept sayin was, don’t pay attention to the little man behind the curtain…. We did not even give eye contact!!! … When you’re in places like that you have to treat them like crazy peeps on the street – NO EYE CONTACT!! Pretend your Burt in SOAP – snap you fingers and disappear..!!!!
The only thing we were doing that was successful was getting DRUNK!!!! Big timeeeeeeeeeeee…
So after many a drink had to fall we decided to leave. Defeated – Wounded.
We ended up at our favorite diner type joint and did what every body does.. EAT…
After we felt like the drinks had withered we decided to hit the road…
I went to the register and asked for coffee to go, while I was waiting I noticed they had Gummy Bears!!! HUMMMMMMMM. SO BEING A HUGE IMPLUSE BUYER – I get me the coffee and a bag of Gummy Bears.
It was a beautiful evening, I had all the windows down and the moon roof opened, along with the radio blastin…I was zoomin down the West Side Highway like Mario Andretti.
The HOT coffee is in the cup holder and the bottle of water is on the floor of the passenger seat.
So there I am driving like I stole it – popin Gummy Bears and then I got Ballzy – I took handfuls of Gummy Bears and was shoving them in my mouth..
All of a sudden I realize the bears are stuck in my throat??????
OMGGGGGGGGGGGGG…
I start to cough.. Nothin….
Then I am chockin and making that terrible sound that goes along with it….
I look at the coffee – Its toooo HOTTTTTTTTTTT…
The water is on the floor and I am flyin down the west side highway- tryin to lean down, while choking trying to get it…
Sweat is drippin from my head – My life is flashin before my eyes…
I can read the headlines now.. Woman dies on the West side with Gummy Bears lodged in her throat!! OMGGGGGGGGGGGGG
The all of a sudden I give it this huge bellowing cough and out fly the BEARS…..
They landed on my windshield – splattered in the format of spread eagle…
And finally a sigh of relief!!!!
If I thought the Peeps in the Club looked bad, the sight of DA Bears on my windshield was worse.
My friend vowed never to drink again! And I vowed never to eat Gummy Bears while drivin!!!
NEXT
What’s in a name? Names are extremely important especially if it’s regarding your business. It then becomes your Brand.
So why is it some comedy clubs name the place, Funny Bones or LOL’s and so on. I neva got that! I mean think about it, are you gonna call your friends laughing on the phone going, OMG lets go to Funny Bones, hahahahhahaa OK?
What if all clubs named them for what they are?
Like “ One Night Stand” or “BANG” or STD’s. Would ya go?
Names can also create an inference in our minds about things. We find ourselves acting differently because we have set it up that way based on what ya head branded it as.
I remember back in my dating days I had this wooden box and I used a magic maker and wrote across the top of the box, “NEXT!”
Any time I was dating I would take the cards or letters or what eva they gave me and put it in this box called, next.
Every time I broke up with someone I then went to the garbage opened the NEXT box and emptied it.
When the next one came along all there shit went back into the Next box.
I suppose this was not a very optimistic approach to have because in my mind they were all NEXT!
I think sometimes we are the wooden box! We lock all of our fears, baggage and insecurities in it and assume that it will protect us if we just remain closed.
One day after giving up on the notion of ever meeting anyone that could be “THE ONE”, I took the next box and tossed it in the garbage.
Then the work began~ my motto was ~ “If you continue to do the same things everyday expecting different results, Slap yourself now!”
If you think you are gonna change someone, forget it~ It aint happening.
So after I did all this self-discovery I was really kinda cool with it all.
I was content with just hangin out with me rather than settling.
Then for a birthday a friend of mine gave me a new box. This one was cardboard with Moons and Stars on it. No room to label it.
I month after I got that box, I found the Love of my Life.
So get rid of all the old garbage and open yourself and your heart and BOOM – no more Next. And neva go to a comedy club called LOL..
So why is it some comedy clubs name the place, Funny Bones or LOL’s and so on. I neva got that! I mean think about it, are you gonna call your friends laughing on the phone going, OMG lets go to Funny Bones, hahahahhahaa OK?
What if all clubs named them for what they are?
Like “ One Night Stand” or “BANG” or STD’s. Would ya go?
Names can also create an inference in our minds about things. We find ourselves acting differently because we have set it up that way based on what ya head branded it as.
I remember back in my dating days I had this wooden box and I used a magic maker and wrote across the top of the box, “NEXT!”
Any time I was dating I would take the cards or letters or what eva they gave me and put it in this box called, next.
Every time I broke up with someone I then went to the garbage opened the NEXT box and emptied it.
When the next one came along all there shit went back into the Next box.
I suppose this was not a very optimistic approach to have because in my mind they were all NEXT!
I think sometimes we are the wooden box! We lock all of our fears, baggage and insecurities in it and assume that it will protect us if we just remain closed.
One day after giving up on the notion of ever meeting anyone that could be “THE ONE”, I took the next box and tossed it in the garbage.
Then the work began~ my motto was ~ “If you continue to do the same things everyday expecting different results, Slap yourself now!”
If you think you are gonna change someone, forget it~ It aint happening.
So after I did all this self-discovery I was really kinda cool with it all.
I was content with just hangin out with me rather than settling.
Then for a birthday a friend of mine gave me a new box. This one was cardboard with Moons and Stars on it. No room to label it.
I month after I got that box, I found the Love of my Life.
So get rid of all the old garbage and open yourself and your heart and BOOM – no more Next. And neva go to a comedy club called LOL..
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